Is My Partner Depressed?

  Have you noticed changes in your partner? Have they withdrawn from activities they use to enjoy? Have their sleep patterns changed? Do they often feel sad, down or empty? If your partner is experiencing one or more of these symptoms, they may be suffering from depression.   Symptoms of depression vary from person to person. They may include one or several of the following: Feeling tired all the time Changes in sleep patterns – sleeping more or less Withdrawing from social activities Irritability Loss of interest in food, exercise and sex Thoughts of suicide We all have a bad day now and then. We may feel down, want to stay in bed, or simply want to be alone.  So how can you tell if your partner is just “having a bad day” or if they are suffering from depression? A person suffering from depression will be experiencing more than one of these symptoms on an ongoing basis (at least 1 week). These symptoms will also be impacting their ability to function on a daily basis. The CDC’s latest studies show that 1 in 10 Americans report feeling depressed. If you think that your partner is depressed, here’s what you can do to help. Be There – Let your partner know that you are there for them. Tell them that you love them and will help them through this. Listen – When your partner wants to talk about what they are feeling and what they are going through, listen to them. Don’t judge. Educate Yourself – Do your research on depression. Find out the symptoms, the triggers and the possible treatments. Depression can be misunderstood as a “loss of love” for a partner since they [...]

5 Reasons Why Your Ex Should Stay Your Ex

There are many major life moments that each person may go through. Some are easier than others, and then you have the truly hard ones. The hardest thing for most people to go through is breaking up with someone that they care intimately about for multiple reasons. When you share a connection with someone that you think may be the one and it comes to a point where your paths no longer are shared, breaking up is sometimes the answer. Often times, when someone leaves a significant other, they have regrets and consider reconciling and getting back together with them. In a recent study, 44% of emerging adults in the last two years have had a reunion with their ex. With emotions being incredibly intense after a break-up, it is no wonder people may have the regret of breaking up and want to reconcile. However, it is important to look at the situation and evaluate why you left that person in the first place. There is the old saying that many people say of “Your ex is an ex for a reason”. So should you reconcile with your significant other? Take a look at why they are your ex and what made you incompatible with them in the end. These are some reasons why you should not reconcile with an ex: 1. You changed who you were for them – Many times in relationships, one, or both parties, will change who they are for the other person. Yes, there is such thing as changing for the better, but you cannot sacrifice all of who you are for someone else. If you did this, get back to who you are, not who you “were” for that [...]

5 Warning Signs For Substance Abuse

This past week, we learned that country star Mindy McCready ended up committing suicide. As authorities go through their reports and autopsy performed, much of the speculation of why she did this circulates around substance abuse. With this being such a sad event, lets touch on the subject of how to help someone who may be struggling with mental health issues and who may turn to substance abuse as a way of escape. Sometimes, you may not be able to recognize the signs, but with this article, we hope to help you be able to reach out to those around you. Many times, people begin to look for ways to escape the stress in their life. This can usually be something from a vacation, to a day at the beach, or even a calming day at the spa. For others, this escape can lead to substance abuse. If someone does not know how to handle what is going on in a safe way or seek out the help they need through friends, family, or counselors, it could go a very wrong way. What are some of the signs you should look for? How can you reach out and help this person? What if they don’t want help? Some of these are easier answered than others but here are some things to remember: 1. This persons eyes may appear bloodshot more often then normal and they may have drastically smaller or larger pupils. 2. If this person suddenly has weight gain or loss that is of significance and you notice that their sleeping or eating habits have changed, this may be a sign. They may also begin to have an increased lack of caring how they [...]

4 Tips to Not Sacrifice Yourself in a Relationship

 Why change who you are to who you aren’t? Remember that first date you went on with your significant other? Yea, the night that you guys went out, shared a meal (or a movie), maybe held hands, possibly kissed? What was it about them that made you fall for them? A good amount of the time their personality and ability to click is what makes you fall for them (and of course, looks help too). But what happens when you start dating, and further down the road you begin to sacrifice little things (possibly big), and suddenly, you are not the person you were before? When you are in a relationship, so many people are willing to sacrifice who they are to make the other person happy. Stop right there. Rewind. Don’t do it. Why? Here’s some reasons why: - If you truly care for and love that person, and they you, there should be no need to change who you are for them. Is that not what made you click in the first place? - The fact that he likes Spiderman and you prefer Batman, that he enjoys gaming while you enjoy clubbing with the girls, or maybe that he likes going to the beach and surfing but you cannot stand the sun are what make each person unique. - Little things that you enjoy should not be sacrificed, you are giving up who you are to be someone you are not. I understand that there is a need to nix a bad habit or silly thing now and then, but do not under any circumstance shift your entire personality to be someone you are not. If anything, get to know each other more [...]

Betrayal Bond: Breaking the Bond

Image sourced from: February 7, 2013 Would you defend someone you love?  And as you think about this question, I want you to see if you are in a destructive relationship or not, if you are in denial, if you have a bond of betrayal with the person you love. What is betrayal?  Betrayal is a breach of trust and involves fear. What you thought was true, it is not true.  Everything in you wants to believe it but there is so much in front of you that is very hard to not see. Betrayal – can also be a form of abandonment.  Betrayal can be traumatic.  And once you have been betrayed, you may never feel safe again.  It is very difficult to trust. The worst part of betrayal is a mind-numbing, highly addictive attachment to the people who have hurt you. You try to show them what they are doing is wrong You blame yourself, your defects, your failed efforts These attachments cause you to distrust yourself, distort your own realities, and place yourself at even greater risks Exploitative relationships create betrayal bonds.  Betrayal bonds happen when a person bonds with someone who is destructive to him or her.   Examples of betrayal bonds include: Not exposing the wrong doing of a parent Sexual exploitation professionals As you think about whether or not you should lie to defend someone love or if you should defend the liar you love, evaluate and assess, whether or not you are in an exploitative relationship. When we think about bonds, we think about a healthy connection, or positive attachment with someone you care about; however, bonds can also be negative and destructive. What make us [...]

Warning Signs & Tips to Prevent Suicide

Could the champion’s death been prevented? Arturo Gatti, 37 year-old Canadian boxer was found dead by his wife, 23 year-old Amanda Rodrigues in their two-level apartment rental in Porto de Galinhas, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. The cause of death was announced to be suicide after investigations concluded that Gatti had committed suicide by hanging himself with a handbag strap from a staircase column more than seven feet off the ground on the Friday of July 11th. Gatti’s wife, once suspected of killing the former champion, has been released from jail.  Arturo’s family and friends confirmed that the couple was having problems but they don’t understand why Arturo would commit such an act. Could Arturo’s death been prevented?  The Journal of the American Medical Association has reported that 90% of all suicides occur during or following a depressive episode, such as an argument, a lost relationship, or financial problems. Also people who have a dependence on alcohol or drugs in addition to being depressed are at greater risk for suicide. And four times more men than women kill themselves; but three times more women than men attempt suicide. What we need to understand is that suicide is preventable.  Most suicidal people desperately want to live; they are just unable to see alternatives to their problems.  Most suicidal people give definite warning signs of their suicidal intentions, but others are often unaware of the significance of these warnings or unsure what to do with them. Here are some of the warning signs. A suicidal person may: Talk about suicide, death, and/or no reason to live. Withdraw from friends and/or social activities. Have a recent severe loss such as relationship, or threat of a significant loss. Have attempted [...]

12 Characteristics of Adult Children of Alcoholics

Alcoholism, known as “alcohol dependence syndrome” is a disease that is characterized by craving, loss of control and physical dependence. Alcoholics, as well as being victims themselves, have an adverse impact on those with whom they associate. Research has shown that children of alcoholics develop some personalities traits that may impact their lives as an adult. Here are 12 characteristics of adult children of alcoholics described by Woitiz (1988): 1.Adult children of alcoholics guess what normal behavior is. 2.Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end. 3.Adult children of alcoholics lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth. 4.Adult children of alcoholics judge themselves without mercy. 5.Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty having fun. 6.Adult children of alcoholics have difficulty with intimate relationships. 7.Adult children of alcoholics over-react to changes over which they have no control. 8.Adult children of alcoholics constantly seek approval and affirmation. 9.Adult children of alcoholics usually feel that they are different from other people. 10.Adult children of alcoholics are super responsible or super irresponsible. 11.Adult children of alcoholics are extremely loyal, even if in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved. 12.Adult children of alcoholics are impulsive. Research shows that adult children of alcoholics are at risk at becoming alcoholics, abusing drugs, attempting or committing suicide.  Also, they may develop patterns of compulsive behavior such as overeating and other eating disorders. And adult children of alcoholics tend to marry alcoholics partners. If you are an adult child of an alcoholic remember that you are not alone. Millions of people have grown up in families with alcohol-related problems. Because of the environment you grew up in, you had to develop [...]

7 Tips for Coping With Loneliness

The holiday season is here. You see people decorating their houses, wrapping gifts and placing them under the Christmas the tree and you feel the warmth and the joy of having your family and friends close to you. The magic of the holidays bring people together and we look forward to this celebration all year-long. However, for some of us, this season is a reminder of the mistakes we have made and the people we may have hurt along the way.  Maybe the loss of a loved one and the end of a long-term relationship can bring up sadness and anxiety during the holidays. It is very common for some people to feel extremely lonely during this season. Loneliness has been described as an emotion that is characterized by a feeling of emptiness and solitude.  Some words people use to describe loneliness include: lost, afraid, numb, pain, nothingness, overwhelmed, and so on. According to Carlson and Love (2010), recent studies have revealed that about 25 percent of the American population has not talked to anyone about anything important to them in six months. Also they found that another 19.6 percent of the people surveyed said that they only have one close friend  they can talk to. These numbers show that close to 50 percent of the population has one close friend or none at all. How did we get here? Today we live in a fast-paced world; we work longer hours or we may even have two jobs. Also, we have distractions such as the Internet, social media, and cellphones. It’s becoming more and more difficult to develop and nurture relationships. This lifestyle eventually leads to isolation and after a while we start to struggle [...]