5 Warning Signs Of An Abusive Relationship

With the death of South African model Reeva Steenkamp, this puts a light on the fact that there are situations out there that many women may be in, and need help. Whether Oscar Pistorious meant to murder his girlfriend, or truly thought it was an intruder, may never be known. However, when faced with this situation, you have to think what type of relationship it may have been and if it was possibly an abusive relationship. How do you know if you are in an abusive relationship? Here are some things to look for: 1. If someone is extremely controlling or jealous, this could be a potential problem. Wanting to know where you are, whom you are with, what you are doing every time you talk to them or making you ask permission to do anything is not a good sign. 2. When someone does not assume responsibility or own up for any mistakes, yet blames it on others, you could be facing a problem. They will tell you how you have made them frustrated or how you could have made the situation better instead of owning up on the problems. 3. As your friends and family begin to fade away and your time with them becomes less and less, you slowly get isolated from the real world. This is a control tactic to make sure you are under their control at any point and time. One wrong move, and it could go very bad. 4. Do not get involved with someone who has a background of hurting someone physically, mentally, or enjoys threatening violence on anyone or anything. These right here are clear warning signs. 5. Mood swings; verbal abuse, and inflicting pain are [...]

By |February 20th, 2013|Categories: Anger, Blog, Co-Dependence, Couples|0 Comments

Anger Management Therapy for Me?

We are all aware of the term "Anger Management". When we hear it, we may think of the movie starring Jack Nicholson as a therapist who has his patient move in with him for therapy. We may also think about the new TV show with Charlie Sheen starring as a therapist to an eclectic group suffering from "anger issues".  Or we may think Anger Management therapy is for someone else and not for us. Regardless of out initial thoughts, Anger Issues have been around for generations, are here to stay and are on the rise in our society. The next time you become angry, answer the questions below. If you can answer yes to any of them, you could benefit from therapy. Do you feel ready to "lash out" physically or verbally at the person who has angered you? Do you feel ready to "lash out" physically or verbally at anyone who may come into contact with you during your anger? Do you feel the need to physically harm yourself? Do you feel the urge to destroy property?   Fallout from mismanaged anger can have devastating effects on you, your relationships, and those around you. These effects include: divorce, domestic violence, addiction and in severe cases mass homicide and suicide. What benefits can you expect from Anger Management Therapy? Less Stress - Just talking about your anger and it's triggers can make you feel less stressed. In addition, you will learn tools and techniques to recognize when you are becoming angry and how to diffuse that anger. Improved Health - Anger takes a physical toll on your body. This toll can include high blood pressure, overeating and physical harm to yourself. Therapy can help to [...]

Are You Tired of Fighting? Here Are Ten Tips for Conflict Resolution

All couples have differences and disagreements; conflict is part of life.  However, many couples have difficulties listening and understanding each other, leading to many arguments, fights and even separation. Many studies show the amounts of disagreements are not related to marital happiness as much as how they are handled. The truth is that happy couples do not avoid disagreements; they resolve them while remaining respectful of each other, thereby strengthening their relationship. Many conflicts between partners become heated as levels of anger and frustration rise. And instead of them speaking assertively, couples begin to accuse, criticize, or yell. Rather than listening actively, they interrupt, belittle, and ignore. When we are in a state of escalation, we usually say or do things we later regret. Additionally, it is almost impossible to have a productive conversation leading to a mutually agreed upon resolution when partners are angry and frustrated. In instances such as this, a time-out plan can be beneficial. A time-out will give couples the opportunity to cool down, recognize their feelings and needs, and begin to think productively again about how to approach the issues they face.  Once you had the opportunity to calm down you can use these ten steps that are simple and effective to solve conflicts. These steps will help you avoid the destructive patterns of the past. Set a time and place for discussion. Once you have requested a time-out for yourself, communicate to your partner how important this issue is for both of you and set a time and place to have the discussion. Define the problem, be specific. Analyze the current issue and stay on topic. List the ways you contribute to the problem. Think about how you might [...]