As we move into the beginning of a new year, many couples make the difficult decision to divorce. Statistics show that the month of January has the highest number of divorce filings nationwide. So why is that?  During the holidays, emotions are running high. Many couples who are having marital problems try and stay together through the holidays either for the children or to see if being together as a family during this time can strengthen the bonds between them. If you are experiencing any of the problems listed below, it is time to consider a divorce.


  1.  Your spouse is violent either physically or mentally toward you and/or your children. Violence should not be tolerated under any circumstance. Serial abusers will tell their victims that, “they can change” or “this will be the last time”, but too often that is not the case. If you are being abused, seek shelter and assistance from either family or a shelter.
  2. Your spouse is in denial about a drug or alcohol abuse problem. If you spouse abuses either drugs or alcohol and doesn’t admit to the problem and the problems it is bringing to your family, you need to consider leaving. For some addicts, the realization that their spouse is leaving the relationship due to this problem can force them to admit they have a problem and seek help.
  3. Your spouse is having an affair. Having an affair does not automatically mean the end to the marriage. However, if your spouse is ready to move on with the other person and has no intention of ending the affair, it is time for you to move on as well.
  4. Your spouse is controlling your life. When you are talking on the phone, does your spouse always want to know who you are talking to? Or do they screen your calls? If you are going out, do they always ask where, with whom and when will you be back? If so, your spouse is exercising control over what you do, where you go and who you go with. This is not healthy for your relationship.

 If your spouse exhibits any or all of these issues, it is time to consider divorce. If you think that your spouse may be showing these signs or could begin to show them in the future, it is time to seek some professional help from a therapist or counselor.  When two people enter into a marriage, they come together. The marriage should not cause one or both people to forego their individualities for the sake of the other. As a couple, you should be better together than you were apart.

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Marta Rocha

About the Author: Marta Rocha is a Mental Health Counselor. Marta is fluent in Portuguese, Spanish and English. Marta Rocha is specialized in the areas of Marriage Counseling, Family Issues, Stress Management, Leadership Training, Anxiety, Depression, Sports Psychology, Grief, and Substance Abuse & Addictions. Marta Rocha has 12 years of experience in sales & marketing, advertising, promotions, management, and professional development. Her professional affiliations are with the American Counseling Association, and the American Association of Christian Counselors.

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