I have learned that when couples get engaged, they spend most of their time and energy planning the wedding. Frequently, forgetting to nurture their relationship now. The focus tends to be in the future since it is exciting to look forward to marriage and dream of how wonderful life will be, but it is also important to be realistic and talk about some of your expectations.
Many married couples do not understand why the marriage did not turn out the way they expected. Taking the time to look at your present relationship and your expectations for the future will insure that your marriage is based on solid principles.
Here are 3 steps you must take to keep your marriage alive and healthy:
1. Put your relationship first. Right now you can say that you are putting your relationship first, however, life will hit you – children, career, sports, hobbies, friends, church activities will take your time and attention. Couples need to consistently refocus and come back to each other and make time for the relationship.
2. Commit to grow together. To build a strong relationship it’s important that couples are committed to grow and change together. When a couple is not truly committed, it is easier to give up when problems arise. A commitment to growth goes beyond of “sticking together,” it’s a commitment to adapt to each other’s changing needs.
3. Work at staying close. The key to a successful marriage is entering the marriage with the attitude that it takes work to stay close. Many different activities will pull you away and it is important that when you find yourself overcommitted to pace yourself and say no when you need to. When trying to make a decision, ask yourself “Is this activity going to bring us closer together, or will it actually create distance in our relationship?” Working at being close will help build your love relationship.
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